For more than forty-five years I identified as a Christian pilgrim, a child of God, living in God’s perfect Universe. Still, I suffered great fear, panic, pain, and devastating losses because I believed I was a personal self contained within the boundaries of my skin and living in a time and space universe.

In 2011, all psychological suffering and fear evaporated when objective reality (relativity) was seen to be an obvious misperception. I saw directly, deeply, and clearly what I am – what you are, and everything is…a perfectly spontaneous appearance of an unknowable, unspeakable, primal silent hum of aware edgeless infinite nothingness…which many attempt to make relative and relatable by naming and claiming this as God, Source, Eternity, Cosmos, etc…

The concept of a relative God keeps many stuck in unexamined beliefs about what God is and isn’t and what they hope God to provide upon death of the body. There is nothing beyond death just as there is nothing before birth. Nothing…how could there be unless a belief in the concept of time is projected by the brain?

The concept and belief in time perpetuates an unfolding universe across a time continuum of past, now, and future. But time is simply a concept allowing the indescribable, unknowable, infinite and edgeless impersonal awareness we call God, Source, Reality, Life, or Cosmos to appear relative and relational to a personal character with a life lived across a storybook timeline.

And if these words are too far-fetched for you, please know you cannot ever make a mistake, you are exactly where you are supposed to be, and life is unfolding as a gift to remind you of the ineffable energy you are, here, now. What you are is infinite, edgeless, aware presence as a fleeting appearance, and the you that you likely believe yourself to be has never existed across time and space. 

Since 2011, I write about and point towards a radical, yet ancient, philosophy of living. There is seeing, but no one seeing. In fact, these words will likely seem crazy and upside down to almost everyone reading this words except those weird few who are quite weary, those quickly approaching death, or those finally realizing their utter frailty and lack of substance.

I encourage you to deeply explore WHAT you are.  It appears we live in a culture driven by beliefs and concepts of fear and conformity. Nearly all humans swallow the traditions, facts, rules, and concepts they have have learned or been instructed to learn yet nearly none have ever deeply explored and asked penetrating questions about the impact of these unexamined beliefs.

It’s hard NOT to believe our teachers, parents, professors, friends, spiritual leaders and all those we esteem in higher education, religion, science, and philosophy when they tell us over and over that we are separate and distinct human beings…and yet most of these folks have never inquired about what they truly are.

It’s challenging to fly against the prevailing winds and beliefs of society but I encourage you to be brave because you are precious and unique just the way you are, a reflection of the light and mystery of the unknowable. And you are lovely and loving beyond your wildest imaginings.

And by the way…I’m a mom, granny, wife to Tony, extreme introvert, devotee of silence, animal lover, addicted to writing and reading books, and I revere oceans…and long to see and walk one every morning.

The story of awakening is here: story-of-anita-awakening.  Peace and love.

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