You are already what you are seeking. It’s impossible to not be awake to what is appearing here, now, as this that is. Suffering begins when we believe the “I” is personal to a “me” located in a separate body.
What is appearing cannot be understood or found through meditation, nor silence…it is not silence nor a thing.
There are no spiritual practices to morph you into what you already are now as this perfect, edgeless, emptiness. There has never been a separate person, a personal thought, nor a personal and separate you.
What is seeming to appear is this fleeting moment, so fleeting that nothing can be named or claimed. Time is a belief, a mental construct. We only seem to appear, to exist, based on a belief in time and separation.